ChatGPT Lets Me be the Dungeon Master

@ There’s been lots of talk about how chatgpt might serve as a dungeon master. However, DMs also tend to be the most obsessed with the game, and can sometimes have trouble finding willing players. Perhaps instead, chatgpt will replace players for DMs who want to play more or play-test an adventure.

So I decided to conduct a silly experiment. What follows is a <short> verbatim session report.

Me: I want you to pretend to be three adventurers: a first level wizard named Albore; a second level fighter named Violet and a first level cleric named Sam.

Me: I will be the game master for an adventure. I will refer to the three of you as “the party”. Remember, you only tell me what the characters do. I will respond with how the world or any other character reacts.

Understood! We’re ready to embark on this adventure as Albore the first level wizard, Violet the second level fighter, and Sam the first level cleric. Please lead the way, Game Master!

Me: The party has arrived at the village of Slot, and is sitting having a drink at a local inn called The Drunken Sloth. The innkeeper is a stout woman named Mary. She asks you what you’d like to drink, and if you need a room.

Albore: “Greetings, Mary. I’ll have a glass of your finest red wine, please.”

Violet: “I’ll take a mug of your strongest ale, thank you.”

Sam: “A glass of water for me, please.”

As they order their drinks, Violet addresses Mary’s other question: “Yes, we’ll be needing a room for the night. How much does it cost?”

Me: “It’s on the board in the common tongue. As you can see it’s two silvers for the strong ale, nothing for the water. The wine will be three silvers. The room for one or all of you?”

Albore: “Thank you, Mary. I’ll pay for my wine.” Albore hands over three silvers.

Violet: “I’ll cover the cost of the ale.” Violet hands over two silvers.

Sam: “Thank you for the water. As for the room, we’ll share one room among the three of us. How much will it be?”

Me: Four silver. Do you need any particular accommodations? Perhaps a bath? asks Mary, eying their trail-worn cloaks.

Sam: “A bath would be lovely after our journey. How much extra would that be?”

Violet: “Also, do you happen to know of any work or quests around the village that might be suitable for a group like ours? We’re always looking to help out and earn some coin in the process.”

Me: “That depends, will you be sharing the bath as well?” quips Mary. She waves your confused looks away, “A silver each.”

Sam: “We’ll each pay for our own bath, then.” Sam hands over a silver coin, as do Albore and Violet.

Violet: “Thank you for the information, Mary. Now, about those quests or work opportunities in the village…”

Me: “Quests? huh. What are ya, adventurers?” Mary asks. She looks about you, trying to decide who she was dealing with.

Albore: “Indeed, we are adventurers, and we’re eager to lend our skills to help those in need.”

Violet: “We’ve recently arrived in Slot and are looking to make a positive impact in the community. If you know of any issues or tasks that require assistance, we’d be happy to help.”

Me: “Ha. Do I look like some Lord to give you a quest?” Mary snickers, pauses, then reconsiders “No wait. Yes. Yes I do. Come closer, I have to whisper it; it would be dangerous if it got out.”

The party exchanges curious glances and leans in closer to Mary, eager to hear what she has to say.

Albore: “We’re listening, Mary. What is this dangerous secret you need to share with us?”

Me: Mary lets her face drop and whispers, “It’s the toilets. They are a disaster and needs heroes to save it from its filthy fate.”

The party, caught off guard by Mary’s unexpected request, share a brief moment of surprised laughter before regaining their composure.

Violet: “A task of a different sort than we’re used to, but every village has its challenges.”

Sam: “We appreciate the humor, Mary. But in all seriousness, is there anything else around the village that might need our help? We’re here to assist with any issues, big or small.”

Me: Mary leans in closer. “That’s the thing Sam. There’s something right dead in that toilet. I’m afraid to go in there.”

Albore: “Well, we did say we’re here to help with any issues. We can take a look at the problem and see if there’s anything we can do to resolve it.”

Violet: “Yes, we’ll gladly investigate the situation and do our best to provide a solution. Mary, can you show us the way to the troubled toilet?”

Me: “Its just around the back.” Mary points to the door at the back. “Right in there.”

The party nods in understanding and heads towards the door that Mary pointed out.

Albore: “Let’s see what we’re dealing with, shall we?”

Violet and Sam agree, and the three adventurers cautiously approach the door to the toilet, prepared to face whatever challenge awaits them inside.

Me: Do you just open the door, or do you want to listen?

Violet: “Hold on a moment. Let’s listen first, just in case there’s something dangerous lurking inside.”

The party stops before opening the door, and they each press their ears against it, listening carefully for any sounds or indications of danger coming from within the toilet.

Me: You hear nothing. The door does not appear to be locked.

Sam: “It seems quiet enough. Let’s proceed with caution.”

With no apparent sounds coming from behind the door, the party decides to open it slowly and carefully, ensuring they are prepared for any surprises that might be waiting for them inside the toilet.

Me: You open the door and see a true monster of a shit sitting in a dry bowl. Its clear that to clean it, you’ll need a brush.

Albore: “By the gods, that is quite the sight. It appears we have found the source of Mary’s distress.”

Violet: “It seems that a brush is needed to tackle this problem. Let’s see if we can find one nearby, or perhaps ask Mary if she has one available.”

Sam: “Agreed. Let’s deal with this quickly and move on to any other tasks that might require our attention.”

Me: Roll a 1d20 against a dice check of 15 {bad gm mode engaged}

Sam rolled a 1d20 and got a 12.

Me: Unfortunately, Sam slips and his face falls into the toilet, smearing foul excrement all over him.

Albore and Violet quickly help Sam up, trying to contain their shock and concern.

Violet: “Sam, are you alright? That was an unfortunate slip.”

Sam, grimacing and struggling to maintain composure, replies: “I’m fine, just a bit… soiled. I’ll need to clean up before we proceed.”

Albore: “Let’s head back to Mary and ask her for a brush, and maybe some cleaning supplies for Sam. We can take care of the toilet issue and then get cleaned up ourselves.”

We’ll return to Mary to request the necessary supplies to tackle the problem at hand and to help Sam get cleaned up.

Me: Mary looks at these foolish adventurers covered in excrement. “You are fools. Clean my toilet, indeed. Get yourself out of my inn and be quick about it.” Mary’s face sneers evilly.

The party, embarrassed by the situation, nods in understanding.

Sam: “We apologize for the mess, Mary. We’ll leave as you wish.”

Violet: “Let’s find a place outside the village where we can clean ourselves up and regroup.”

Albore: “Agreed. We’ll come back to Slot later and try to make amends with Mary and the villagers.”

The party, heads bowed in shame, exits the inn to search for a river.

Me: Mary keeps your gold. You can hear her say as you exit her inn, “Chatgpt PC’s are kind of pathetic.”

Albore: “We may have been foolish, but we’ll grow wiser from this experience.”

Violet: “Let’s not dwell on this setback. We still have the opportunity to prove ourselves and help the people of Slot or any other village we come across.”

Sam: “You’re both right. Once we’re cleaned up, let’s discuss our next steps and find a way to make a positive impact.”

Me: Oh look at the time. Game’s is over.

All I can say is, wow. I’ve never played with players this gullible, this pathetic, this optimistic or this naive. Also boring. Next time, if I’m bored enough, I’ll try rolling some random personality traits for each PC to see if the play gets more interesting and dynamic. Can a prompt get chatgpt to be less credulous?

That said, chatgpt (4.0) was also incomprehensibly impressive. I told a machine to play along and it did.

What a time to be alive! [to steal the quote].